As a spoiled child

There was a time in my life when I was a spoiled child. I do not accept what life was offering me. Yes, she gave me bad things. Pain, suffering, anguish, injustice. And you can ask me, "but nobody wants it to your life! You were not a spoiled child." So let me explain why this title.I spent almost all my life serving God's house. My hopes and ambitions were to kingdom of God and all I did was to glorify him. But the long walk and my feet hurt on the way, people appeared to judge me, criticize and be unfair to me. Instead of giving me water, gave me vinegar. Instead of love, gave me indifference. So, I blamed God. I thought if God was really God, He would not allow certain things had happened to me. Besides having lost my father early, at age 15, I felt alone and unhappy. Even so, I went ahead. The pain continued, the pain too, agústia seemed to be something permanent. That's when I said to God: "I think you are not real. I spent my entire life serving you, but I have seen only indifference on his part. Why do not you heal my father? Why allow people to me hate and are unfair to me without my having done anything? No, no ... I'm wrong, always have been. There is no God. "I wanted God to do something for me, I wanted him to defend me and make everything different, because I thought I deserved something better to suffer and suffer.As a spoiled child, I turned away from God. I did not use drugs, do not prostitute, do not wander the streets. But darkness reached my heart. Inside I challenged God. I laughed sneered, talking to myself and said, "God will not do anything, I know it will not." And I was right. He did nothing. People who hurt me I do not apologize. Others who have been unjust to me were not called me or my house to discuss the injustice done against me.Friends who have not forgotten me again remember me. And God did not speak to me of how I would like to speak, nor touched me the way I hoped he touched. So I became skeptical. I thought I had more important things to do to eliminate hunger, improve education, fight against AIDS in favor of using amebiente. Those things were my god for a while and I thought that religion was a way that society has created to contain the people. I joined in my life philosophical, reason and science became my world and the spirit of God was no longer important to me.Taking part in cultural groups, chat and meet different people, hear new songs, new thinkers of this generation and generations past, watch old movies, discussing social and political issues, part of cultural events .... For a long time it was important to me. I confess that for a long time since I've missed God. No! I was surrounded by intellectual friends, interesting and intelligent people who could talk all about what I liked and often treated me better than my brothers treated me when I went to church. Think about books and university was the most common thing that I thought in my head. There was no room for God, only for myself and for my questions. But one day, I missed my calling. Those things were cool (and I like them so far), but not fulfillment. I realized that they had a shelf life, my life boiled down to think and think ... No more feeling, just thinking. But God, the God whom I deeply loved and whom I gave my all, I have not forgotten. Gradually, God was sending people who were faithful servants of God. My math teacher was once an atheist and became pastor. He was the most skeptical person that may have become Christian. And his intelligence beyond the limits rasoáveis. And he told me: "You're here because God wants something from you." Sometime later, I met a friend whom I love today. Extremely intelligent, she argued about everything that I liked but she returned to discuss everything to God. Wow! It was exactly what I wanted. But I let God, as a spoiled girl, hoping that he would meet me. I was tired of going to meet God. Of having to kneel down and cry for him I really wanted is that He rescued me and changed my life again! I wanted to go back to church, but wanted to stand firm in His house forever. But I was walking in circles. I was afraid I could not live that life again. Gradually, I was opening my heart to the words. Then, for The Word. So occasionally I read the bible ... Boy, was so strange to me! It seemed that I had never done that before and at the same time, I felt a great familiarity with the Bible because I already knew well. Gradually the word was sown and I actually was afraid of how my back would be to God. I was afraid of God to let me down again (it was so I thought). Until I got back. In fact, I avoided any long contact with Christian people because they would tell me about "truth and salvation," and the chat, I knew very well. But actually, I had so great a respect for Christians and did not want to talk to them because, in this respect because I was afraid of being influenced by them again. After all, for me religion was part of only one type of social organization in order to control people. History, for a long time, was to explain much in my life. And when I saw the evidence of transformation in people's lives I said, "Cool. Glad it worked for him. I do not want that for me, today I think differently and not come back earlier."My soul was really crying out to God to come and do a miracle suddenly! He came to meet me and talk to me and encouraged me, gave me visions. In time, He came and spoke to me. I remember like today. I was dry, not create more miracles and wonders, does not create more in a relationship with a living God. Over time, with my return home, God revealed to me that Jesus also was disappointed with him I thought, "What? Jesus? No, this is not possible." But when Jesus was on the cross, He said: "Father, why have you forsaken me." Jesus expected that his Father would treat it otherwise, He would come, and that would make the rescue a "sudden miracle" that He might suffer the way he suffered. Who spit in Jesus was not asking for forgiveness to Him Who gave him vinegar to drink, be redeemed by giving water as a request for forgiveness. Who humiliated and treated in the most unfair was not recant. Soon, I realized that if I went through everything Jesus went through, I was chosen by God, He had me as his adopted daughter. If I went through the same Jesus and Jesus is the son of God, then, I was the daughter of the Father of Eternity. Finally, I realized that the tribulations that I was nothing but God's approval and recognition that I was his daughter. The devil has blinded me, but God brought me to the light again.

And remember: all things work together for good to them that love God.

With love, Chris.